Dear Age

I’m a little appalled by your favoritism. You treat men far better than women. Why do men age with grace? They become distinguished looking gentlemen with their sprinkles of salty hair by their temples. The crows feet by their eyes speak of a man who has laughed and enjoyed life while a woman’s crows feet collect their morning application of foundation giving a crusty appearance. For this reason alone I avoid powder foundation. Men never moisturize, yet their skin looks great. Do they use sunblock when outdoors? Unless they have alabaster skin that will fry up like lobster, that is a big N-O. Does the sun damage their skin like it does us women? Stanking A, no it doesn’t. Well at least not until they are in their seventies and at the dermatologist getting chunks of their nose or ears taken off because of skin cancer. By that time, who cares, we’re both old, wrinkled and sagging in unnatural locations. It’s a bunch of baloney if you ask me. 

There is not enough retinol or collagen in the beauty products I buy at my local Walmart to help plump this thinning, sagging skin of mine. No, to get true results I would need to head to a plastic surgery facility where they would pump my flesh full of fillers, Botox, or other things which I don’t even know of to get me looking younger. Or, they would sell me their retinol benford 2000 cream which probably cost one month's pay and last about as long. For all I know, they would try talking me into a mini facelift that is currently 30% off so if I act now it will only cost me everything in savings, my first born and maxing out three credit cards! Totally worth it right? 

Instead I sit here rubbing my Loreal lotion in, with my jowls drooping and my turkey neck dangling wondering why my husband who is four years my senior has the skin of a thirty something year old and I don’t. After my lotion is rubbed I move along to my double chin reducer face massager hoping Amazon  didn’t sucker me into this twenty dollar purchase and asking myself why I believed something I saw on Facebook anyways. I'm pretty sure either “sucker” or “desperate” is imprinted in my wrinkles. 

Yes Age, you are a cruel thing, so if you don’t mind I have some cucumbers to slap over my eyes and some seaweed to wrap up in. 

Sincerely,

Rambling Roxy