Dear Summer Weather

I’m over you! We need some time apart. I really think I need someone cooler in my life. Someone who gives me goosebumps when they’re around. Someone who can send shivers down my spine. All you do is cause sweat to roll down my back into my crack. Wet chonies and I don’t get along. Who wants to walk around with swass? Certainly not me, but that is all I seem to be doing lately. 

Besides that, September starts the fall season so why are you lingering around like a stalker. You’re like an ex boyfriend who is unable to take a hint. Or like my children who won’t take no for an answer. Mother nature needs to set you straight. She needs to stop letting you have your way. She should put you to bed where you belong and keep you there until next summer. No more sneaking out and sharing your gifts of humidity and sweltering heat. 

I promise you by mid spring I will miss you and want you back. I will long for your warm days where I can sit in my swimsuit by the lake and bathe in your rays. But right now I am sick to death of all your mosquito friends who see a neon sign all around me saying “All you can eat buffet”. I’m allergic to the sneaky devils and they appear to be immune to the repellents I use. My ankles are in distress! I am about to invest in Benadryl just to make some of my money back. 

So please, take yourself down south towards the equator and visit all those who enjoy your company year round. Take your pals' humidity, mosquitos and heat with you. The snow birds will come see you soon and give you plenty of company while I enjoy cocoa, sweaters, and outdoor fires. Arrivederci, adios, see you later alligator. 

Sincerely over you,

Rambling Roxy